When I was experiencing abusive relationships, I never realised I was being abused, especially not narcissistic abuse. This is often the most insidious kind, because it leaves you questioning your own sanity. You are slowly ground down to nothing, and it took studying abuse and psychology for me to finally understand that what I was living through was far from healthy. It was mental torture.
So, how can you recognise a narcissistic person? Here are three main red flags to watch for:
1. Lack of Empathy
Narcissists are unable or unwilling to genuinely empathise with others. They minimise your feelings or what you’re experiencing by saying someone else knows better, or that they’re more important than you. dismiss your concerns, or turn every conversation back to themselves. If you notice someone repeatedly invalidating your emotions or showing no real care for your well-being, that’s a major warning sign.
2. Manipulation and Gaslighting
A narcissist will twist facts, lie, and invent situations that never happened just to get a reaction from you. Gaslighting is a common tactic; they make you doubt your own reality, memory, or even sanity. If you find yourself apologising constantly, second-guessing your memories, or feeling confused after interactions, take this very seriously.
3. Constant Need for Attention and Control
Narcissists crave attention and will go to great lengths to get it. They may create drama, provoke arguments, or play the victim to keep you engaged and focused on them. If you notice someone always demanding your time, energy, or validation, it’s a clear red flag.
How to Deal with a Narcissist: Four Key Strategies
- Set Firm Boundaries
Be clear about what you will and will not tolerate. Don’t be afraid to say no or to enforce consequences when your boundaries are crossed. - Limit Contact
If possible, reduce your communication with the narcissist. In my own experience, I had to change my landline and mobile numbers to show that I was serious about ending the abuse. Plus, I lost count of the many times I reported him to the police; it seems that you being deadly serious scares them off. Personally, I’d say it’s because, deep down, they are just cowards, but that is just my experience. - Don’t React to Provocations
Narcissists thrive on your reactions. As hard as it is, try to ignore their attempts to bait you. Don’t engage in arguments or try to reason with them; they will only try harder to get a rise out of you. - Seek Support and Educate Yourself
Learning about narcissistic abuse and connecting with others who understand can be a lifeline. Therapy, support groups, and trusted friends can help you rebuild your self-esteem and regain your sense of reality.
Remember, escaping narcissistic abuse is difficult, but you are not alone. Recognising the signs is the first step toward reclaiming your peace and well-being.
If you feel like you are experiencing any form of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out to one of these organisations: Abuse is not ok!
**Domestic Violence Support Services in East Riding of Yorkshire:**
1. **East Riding Domestic Violence and Abuse Partnership (DVAP)**
Offers confidential support, advice, and information for anyone affected by domestic violence and abuse in East Riding.
Helpline: 01482 396368
Website: [DVAP – East Riding Council](https://www.eastriding.gov.uk/living/crime-and-community-safety/domestic-violence-and-abuse/)
2. **Hull Women’s Aid**
Provides refuge accommodation, outreach, and support for women and children fleeing domestic abuse. They accept referrals from East Riding.
Helpline: 01482 446099
Website: [Hull Women’s Aid](https://hullwomensaid.org/)
3. **The Blue Door**
Offers support for anyone affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence in North and North East Lincolnshire, Hull, and East Riding.
Helpline: 0800 197 47 87
Website: [The Blue Door](https://www.thebluedoor.org/)
4. **National Domestic Abuse Helpline**
24-hour confidential helpline for anyone in the UK.
Helpline: 0808 2000 247
Website: [National Domestic Abuse Helpline](https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/)
5. **Men’s Advice Line**
For male victims of domestic abuse.
Helpline: 0808 801 0327
Website: [Men’s Advice Line](https://mensadviceline.org.uk/)
In an emergency, always call 999. These services provide advice, practical help, emotional support, and assistance with safety planning and accommodation.
Your friend for the journey,
Kate x
Kate xxx
( Pronouns: She/Her)
International Best Selling Author and CEO of New Pasture Lane Community Centre Registered Charity No 700422
DISCLAIMER: These blog posts are in no way shape or form to provide any professional advice and are for entertainment purposes only. The author/s takes no personal responsibility or liability for any person/s who chooses to use the methods in their own lives.